Hi Demelza, Here's some follow up notes from our recent session

 

Rescue Buttons - Find What Works For You In Troubling Times

 

Unhelpful behaviours you are experiencing with alcohol, food, cleaning etc can be influenced by:

 

Habit - What we practice we get good at (even the bad things!) It becomes automatic.

 

Triggers - Either external things happening like someone says something to you or internal feels eg. Sadness, being lonely.

 

Changes in tolerance - You’ve done it 'so much' in the past and now 'need' more to get the result/feel the effect/numb yourself/avoid the alternative.

Other things can influence your mood such as Hormones/Chemicals/Medication- eg. time of the month, anti-depressants, pain killers

 

The good news is, the want and drive for these things or to do the unhelpful behaviour will only last for a period of time, sometimes a little longer than others but that TIME WILL PASS.

 

If you can distract yourself or sit through the time, it will typically pass.

 

A few things to consider trying:

Stay present:

  • 'The Stop Technique' - hand out like a stop sign and say stop. (Perhaps you add on a line- “STOP Demelza, walk away from the fridge)

  • Breathing or relaxation exercises - eg. Square Breathing (Counting in your head - Inhale 2,3,4, Hold 2,3,4, Exhale 2,3,4, Wait 2,3,4 repeat at least 5 times)

  • Grounding techniques -  1. I have a great, very simple technique I made up when I was younger, it’s called “The Starfish!” - You simply lay on the floor with your arms and legs splayed out! …Yes, as silly as it sounds, it often works!
    2. Get outside and sit/walk barefoot on grass.

  • Affirmations - “It’s only now.” “This will pass”, “I am worthy”, “I am healthy”, “I am loved”

  • Physical activity, walking, cycling, running,  yoga, gentle stretching.

  • Journalling - Write all your thoughts and feelings down. Consider reflecting and rationalising.

  • Changing your environment - move into another room.

 

Activities:

  • Put on some music dance.

  • Listen to a guided meditation.

  • Pick up a book and read a chapter.

  • Go for an #EnergyTime walk by yourself or with a friend.

  • Watch a funny video, programme or film.

  • Take a shower with music on.

  • Clean out a cupboard or drawer. (Just one for you Demelza!)

  • Try some colouring/drawing.

  • Spend some time on your favourite hobby.

  • Have a bath.

  • Even - Read through this page!

 

Embrace curiosity:

  • What if I didn’t drink right now?

  • What am I avoiding? - being alone, being excited.

  • What could be going on on a deeper level?

  • What can I learn from this?

  • What opportunity is this giving me?

Remember this:
Circumstance > Thoughts > Feeling/Emotion > Actions > Result

So...

  • What's happening?

  • What feelings are you experiencing?

  • What thoughts do you think are triggering them?

  • Can you think of a rational thought to replace it with?

  • How could that new thought change the feeling you have? ...and how can that new feeling change the result you get?

 

Future/True Self:

  • Does she do this?

  • What would she say?

  • What would she do?

Reach out:

  • Send me an email

  • Call a friend

  • Talk out loud to yourself as your best friend/counsellor/coach/loving guide

 

FYI- Rescue Buttons aren’t only useful in times of trouble, they are also fantastic after a highly positive experience/feeling. They can often enable us to ‘find neutral’ and not always be ‘so extreme’. This prevents a crash otherwise known as an ‘adrenaline slump’.

 

There's a lot of options above and some you may find more helpful than other. Try to have an open mind and try a few new things. Ahead of next lesson it would be great if you can make a list of ‘Rescue Buttons’ that work for you.

 

We are doing the 'deeper work' in the sessions too- (Understanding the WHY and aligning yourself with your goals) but these Rescue Buttons are so helpful for ‘in the moment’ results!

Have a good week!

If you are really struggling, don't forget you can may want to contact :

  • Your GP

  • Emergency services on 999

  • NHS Urgent advice and help on 111

  • Drinkline national alcohol helpline on 0300 123 1110

  • Alcohol Change UK

  • Alcoholics Anonymous helpline on 0800 9177 650 , https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

  • Al-Anon Family Groups helpline on 0800 0086 811